Goal Setting is the process of identifying something that you want to accomplish and establishing measurable goals and timeframes. The dreaded question in every job interview is usually - What are your one, five or even ten year goals? And trust me, I've had my own experience with scrambling to explain that I struggle to plan one day ahead, let alone one year. Why is goal setting important? Simply, if we don't make changes, take risks and plan our time out properly, 2019 will feel as stale, rushed and unaccomplished. If you want to save money for a trip, you can't wait until the day before to try and get the money together. It takes careful planning to achieve the things we want in life. 2018 had given me the opportunity to start fresh and begin real life goal setting, so I wouldn't say the 2019 me is a pro, but I've found a couple ways to make goal setting an easier and rewarding task. So whether you've never goal set before or are looking for new ways to make 2019 full of accomplishments, you've come to the right place! 1. Write them down First, it is important to write down your goals. Seeing your goals on a regular basis is important in keeping on track with your goal setting plan. Whether this is on a whiteboard, in a notebook or on your phone, writing them down makes them real and you accountable for taking steps towards achieving them. This brings us to the second tip. 2. Map Out the Steps The whole Buy a guitar -> Be a Rockstar way of goal setting rarely works out. It's important to create steps that you can take to reach your goal (and if you're super into scheduling like me, adding deadlines for those steps). In this process, you make your goals more realistic and look something more like Buy a guitar -> Take Guitar Lessons -> Get first gig -> Get a Manager -> Record first Album -> Play Sold Out Show -> Be a Rockstar. 3. Start with a couple achievable goals. Getting a few out of the way will motivate you! This is where tip number three comes in, make some of your goals easy and achievable to start out. If you overload yourself with large goals, you'll never feel like you're making any progress on your goal list. It's okay, and suggested to add goals like read a book or organize bookshelf, to give yourself those first check marks (or strikethroughs, depending on how you operate). 4. Make all goals within an achievable timeframe Don't write "go to the moon" as a one year goal, because even astronauts rarely go to the moon that quickly. If you start by mapping out the steps, this can help you plan time as well. For example, if you need to take classes to gain a skill, you can map out the time it would take to finish the course. If you say you're going to learn to be a graphic designer and you need to enrol in a 2 year diploma program just to get started, you wouldn't say that a one year goal is to become a graphic designer. 5. Now, aim big. Go to the moon. Who have you always wanted to be? It's time to become that person. Set some of your top tier goals as if you could achieve anything, this is where going to the moon is plausible and if you add your steps to achieving it and are reasonable with time frames this is a good way to set the stakes for yourself. I hope these tips help you be as productive as you can (or want) to be. I'll end this blog post with an important reminder to all that you are more than your accomplishments. Though achievements look and feel good, your health and sanity deserve rest and realistic goals. Maybe make some of your goals relaxation based or reaffirmation based. Honestly, I always like to add "watch the entirety of the Rocky series" to my list every once and a while.
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What a title. Why did I type that? Is it because I've finally reached the point where my birthday feels less important than the accumulation of things I've spent that year doing? Yes. Am I here to brag about those things? No. Welcome to my Annual Birthday Panic AttackTM in blog post form. My birthday has just passed with what I would call a small hurrah, which for some reason is the way I want it to be. This is the first year in a long time where my birthday hasn’t felt like a huge moment that I need to make a weekend out of and I don’t know if that’s a sign of my maturity or a sign that I’ve absorbed myself too much into my work. This week’s blog post won’t be as relatable or based around lifestyle, so I have to apologize for that. This week is about personal growth and the process goal setting. In the grand scheme of things, I am a child. I sit in a board meeting and the people around me see me as the young social media savant that had never experienced 8-track and has only ever held a small floppy disk. And though I know what a VHS is, I still find myself having to work harder to not be pointed at the chair with the booster seat.
I’ve drank the elusive “drink me” and have made the world around me shrink. Instead of feeling so insignificant, I’m starting to feel too big and very aware of the things I destroy with my oversized adult feet. Change: intransitive verb 1: to become different 2: to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution I can make a change now, we all can and I feel like there's enough time to think about the change you want to see and never enough time to make the change tangible. I want to hold the change in my hand, I want to open the world for new voices and I want to be the person that I wanted to be growing up. Even if I always imagined that person to be a nurse. Goals: the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. So this year instead of setting personal goals, I’m setting personal change and community change to my roster of to-dos. I’m going to use my power and my privilege to touch the lives of people around me and thank them for every ounce of support and creativity they produce to our world. If I had a million dollars, I want the world around me to be rich and the soil to produce the next years harvest without fear of draught. It’s strange that I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much because this year has probably been the biggest yet. This year I got into the job market, maintained three jobs while going to school full time, made Dean’s list, got to film in the premieres office, got to celebrate my mothers 60th birthday, got three tattoos, grew my hair out to my natural colour, learned how to use liquid eyeliner, got a new vehicle, gained lasting friendships, a longterm boyfriend, professional relationships, understood my gender identity, participated in the world! BIG BREATH. I’m also graduating this year. I have a fear that this feels minimal to me, when will a year feel substantial enough. My plans for the next month, as the year ends is to set goals for myself and for change, plan the trips I will go on in the next year, finish some writing submissions and make meetings with industry leaders to better myself and, cliche enough, create a mood board. I don't want to create a list of my goals on this blog because this year they feel very private, and I feel like if I put them in the universe, I'll lose them somehow.
If you clicked on this I’m sure that you struggle with balance. And when I say balance I don’t mean how well you can stand on one leg, I mean the internal balance that we must maintain to feel fulfilled, happy and normal. Balance comes fundamentally from understanding the world around you and where you fit into it. Essentially: what elements do you need from the world and what things do you need to give back in order to keep the scales stable. Correct me if I'm wrong, but as people I believe that we are generally reactionary, meaning that we only try to get balance in our life when we're 10 feet deep in chaos. The key is to become better at maintenance and in turn better at knowing who we are as individuals. All these struggles you face with feeling out of control and unable to find balance is within everyone. We all feel this loss of control. Recently, because of my frantic need to regain the regins in my life, I’ve internally found a new way to help visualize personal balance. This is what this blog post is about! First, it’s important to know and acknowledge that no one has the same balance to maintain. Every person has a different centre of gravity and equilibrium, everyone emphasizes different values that need to be fulfilled. And that’s what balance is: making sure all your values are met. Values: a person's principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgment of what is important in life. On the road to balance and inevitably happiness it’s important to sit down and mentally take note of your values, or even write them down. "What things make me the happiest?" "What things do I not want?" "What do I not have enough time for but am better off doing?" After you answer these questions I find that its easiest to start by writing down your values and working to narrow it down to four important values that are measurable. This can help the whole procedure to feel less overwhelming. If you're struggling to do this, it's important to look at what makes you unique and what fuels you. Does exercising make you happier? Does writing poetry? Do you need to spend a certain amount of time traveling? Use your values to assess and find your gasoline. Let me give an example, the best way to think about it is this strange alignment chart. When the happy face (you) is in the center is when you’re values are at 100% but when one takes over the other you’ll see that you lose your balance and some fundamental element of what is makes you happy.
So I made a change to restore my balance, (1) connected my friends and family (2) made plans and made sure it wasn’t the last ones for a while and (3) introspectively set more time aside for the people in my life. This may be the A type in me but I find this to be the best way to evaluate and make an effort to rebalance myself. If you find yourself drained, or you haven’t posted on your personal blog in almost six months, it may be time to reassess. In my opinion, you can’t keep whipping around and expecting the balance to come naturally. So set some time aside for you and bring balance back to your life, reader! Set the scales right and do some introspection! (I've left a blank introspection chart at here for your to try out for yourself!)
Did you miss me? HAH! Don't worry, I know you didn't realize I was gone (unless you did, in which case I love you). And I wish I could tell you I had gone to some beach resort or a remote town in a European village, but alas, that is not the truth. Instead of running you through my day to day lets just leave it at: life can hit hard and, when you let your guard down, life can really lean back and hit EVEN harder. Now that I'm back on my feet, spitting out my own teeth with my gloves up ready for the bell, let's talk about something that I have been hearing a lot: bad things come in threes. Hopefully, that gives some indication of how the last two weeks, and my entire year, has been. Do bad things actually come in threes? Put on your researcher/conspirer tin foil hat because we're getting into it. Do we believe this off of circumstantial fact or do we often find ourself ooh-ing and ahh-ing over Shakespearian level triplets? Let's not hold the suspense because I know you're all dying to hear my HOTTAKE© on common sayings spouted by older generations to account for misfortune, I think it's a patterns thing. I know, it's not exactly a shocking thought, but I've been thinking about it, so now you are too. Triaphilia refers to the phenomenon of finding three as a satisfying and, at times, suspicious number. And if your first inclination is to deny this, consider how many phrases in our natural world are threes; "Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité", "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" and "Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll" are a few that I can name off the top of my head. So, in a similar way to how religion helps us understand the afterlife and how our brains make up colour in order to organize our world, our brains are programmed to search for pieces to make sense of the world around us and therefore threes seem to pop up at a particle of hope, mysticism and fear. And when you consider that another version of the "bad things come in threes" phrase is "death comes in threes." You face the glaring concepts behind the probability of many deaths occurring at once and the impossible void that is occurrence and fate. Okay, a new theory for the tinfoil hatters, maybe our fascination with threes comes from the Grim Reaper's weird obsession with it, you know I have noticed he only does three buttons up on his cloak(?). Just kidding, we won't get too existential, silly or mathematical today. I've always thought it was strange for humans to search for patterns, but as a lover of conspiracy theories I can see that it is as deeply engrained in us as our natural ability to survive. Our entire purpose in life is to understand. We spend our whole lives trying to understand why we're here, what we're doing, what is going on around us -- even if there may not be a certain answer for us to grasp on to. So it only makes sense that we look at a group of bad happenings and think "what is the universe trying to tell me?" instead of "what a random set of circumstances that I have no control over and never will." I often look to fate to trying and explain away my personal life, but the truth is that it is all random. You can pull yourself out of a bad situation and still get in a car accident, you could become a vigilant driver and still have your phone stolen. All we can do is stay positive, support each other and attempt to put our best foot forward. To conclude, in the wise words of a man who is a professional philosopher, and not my boyfriend: "Maybe bad things don't come in threes, maybe bad things just come." And that is a man after my own heart. I hope your days are full of good things, in more than threes!
I remember, as a child, imagining the future and being overwhelmed when I realized that I could be alive for The Jetsons to be a reality. And while I now think flying cars have more flaws than benefits to society and that maybe travelling by tubes may be scarier, inaccessible and, admittedly, barfy. When I say the future, I don't necessarily mean an upcoming time as I am aware that it is actually impossible to live outside the present. I'm referring to a period of time that everyone believes will be the epitome of technological advances. What did the future look like to you? When you were so small that you believed in The Tooth Fairy. Truly, if a fairy can come in the middle of the night and leave money under your pillow than we can have teleportation and chocolate bars that come through the television. As an adult, I begin to think: where does the Tooth Fairy get that money? Does she have a business? Is she a bank robber? Is she privately funded? How does she account for inflation? And don't even get me started on tax evasion. And while we don't have the things I always dreamed we could have, we usually have variations of them. I once wrote about the future in a fuzzy purple journal I kept in my side drawer with the key always in the lock, and though it had pretty obvious influences from Jurassic Park and Back to The Future, I think its insane how in just over ten years we've achieved these, even if they're in their most primitive form. Below is my list of a couple things that I predicted for the future (edited for adult eyes). Things I predict for the futrue [sic] By Reanna Pilkington, age 9
I always have discussions about how if I could go back even ten years and show someone some of our technological advances, I would blow their mind. Imagine going back to show your grandparents a smartphone, or even the concept of Bluetooth. I truly think we're living in the future, and even though we don't have Jaw's 19 or a park of rampant dinosaurs, we have more than our grandparents could have ever imagined. I began feeling this way when I saw videos of Sophia, the AI robot who wanted to destroy humanity and even at some point wanted a baby. And I wonder when we'll hit the roof, or when it'll stop feeling like we're living in the future. Is their a Post-Post-Post Modernist time that we'll look at technological advances as being behind us? My prediction is that once we reach a point of being environmentally efficient and stable with the installation of renewable energy, we're going to enter a new age, as that's the only element of the perfect future I do not see in society. Also, I love dreaming about the idea of potentially shifting into a more utopian society like in Star Trek where money is not relied upon and we have Replicators to feed and sustain us (maybe 9-year-old McDonald's loving Reanna hasn't changed too much after all). I don't think I'm in the future that I dreamt of as a child, but I don't think I'd want to live in that world regardless. Sometimes you look at things overall and it feels like each year that passes is worst than the last, but objectively we're very advanced in medicine and overall technology and that's just as cool as teleportation. At this point, it's really up to us to direct ourselves so that the best sustainable future is, truly, now. For now, we're still on the steep climb up the rising action of the future. Where the climax will be, is an unprecedented mystery. And I honestly feel like no one knows where we're going, even movies are now struggling to predict what we'll look like in ten years, to the point that our main depiction of the 2020's usually looks like a dystopian wasteland. For now, I hope that they're not right. I'd love to hear what technological advances you wanted as a child or, even, as an adult! Comment below!
Happy (belated) International Women's Day y'all! Happy Women's History Month! (I wrote this on IWD even though its a day late, so I'm going to focus on it.) I had a whole other post for today about the new Christopher Robin movie and pooh bear and nostalgia but something that happened to me really spurred me on to a topic, so we'll have to rain check that one. I was having a conversation with a customer at my place of work today, and when I wished him a Happy International Women's Day, he responded with "thank you. It's not really for me though." As I was expecting the traditional "you too" or passive nod I usually get, I was taken back by this man's comment and I felt like I had to step back to fully analyze it. This was good right? The acknowledgement that this is a day for women and discussion about women's rights and contributions to society, so it would be good that a cisgendered male would say that it wasn't for him. That's kinda what the day is about right? Taking the focus off of men for a moment to say "look, she did that. She is valid." But, at this point you know the wheels in my head are turning, is that REALLY what the day is about? From my perspective, always, it's been about three main ideas: recognition, appreciation, and discussion. 1. Recognition is the first step. In the past and present, women have faced silencing in media, sciences, education, workplaces, the household, etc. So women's day is a chance to point to those who have made/are making history (or HERstory, as you may say) or even just doing their thing. You don't have to launch someone into space to be an incredible and powerful woman. 2. Appreciation comes with this process, make the women in your life feel loved and appreciated. You should really already be doing this, but sometimes it's nice to set time aside to say or be told "___, you are loved and appreciated. Here's why you're amazing ____, and here's why you make the world a better place ____". Yesterday, I spammed my Instagram story with my own personal inspirations and cheerleaders. Don't feel inspired? Take a moment from the dizziness of everyday life and think about the women who have been around when you needed a hand, a joke or advice, start there. I started slow, but eventually had to stop myself after about 17, so as you can tell I have lots of positive influence in my life and if you look, you'll find yours. 3. Discussion is the final but most crucial piece. What is the point of having a day if we're not going to try to make a change? Look at any news outlet and you'll see references to women's issues, and issues that affect women: abortion, the wage gap/livable wage, gun control, international women's rights marches. I could again go on forever. The point is there is international and national change that can be made on this day, and in this month, that can help further the goal of equality. Talking about it more, taking action and empowering others is what this day is about. I personally donated to the WIN House and attempted to started discussion in my own life about issues, every small step counts. So was this man's comment fair? Is International Women's Day not for him? I think the day is as much for him as anyone else. My hot take: if anyone is a true ally or supporter of women they can contribute to the recognition, appreciation and discussion. They can take a moment to understand female history, send appreciation and love to the strong women in their lives that inspire them, and they can use their privilege to help with discussion and movement. It's everyone's job to fight for the equality of every female. Women's day is not just for CisWomen, or Caucasian women. We have to learn to fight for all women when we have our opportunity to strike. Fight for women regardless of their country of origin, the colour of their skin and the language they speak. Fight for women that are transitioning and thriving in their realized gender reassignment and for LGBTQ+ women. Fight for women of every level of education, every age, every demographic of female power. Please, fight for each other. And celebrate each other! Just because you missed yesterday's celebrations doesn't mean you can't reach out today! I was late, you can be too. Here I'll help with a template: "Hey ___, I was just wanting to let you know that I think you're _____, _______ and ______. Without you, I wouldn't have been/be able to ___________________ and you've helped make me into ___________. You are loved, you are valid. Happy (late) International Women's Day, and Happy Women's History Month. Love, ____" Thank you for listening to my hot take on IWD, what are your opinions? Let me know in the comments below! Also, tell me about an incredible female that inspires you, I'd love to hear all about it! BONUS: To end today's post here are Six (6) impressive women that we should talk about more and you should google after you read this. I chose these three historical figures and three current female inspiration to start you down the rabbit hole (and because I read a lot about them today when I was researching and I think that they're all pretty badass)(Also, I could go on for days but I'm narrowing it down to four, you're welcome). Click their photos to find out more! Historical
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Hello everyone! Today is going to be something a little different. After last week's post about my experiences with Anxiety I received so many positive messages and I am beyond loving and appreciative. I also received stories of other people's experiences with anxiety, one of them was frequent guest poster: Haley Ludyk. I found her story incredibly informative and I think it's important for everyone to hear different perspectives. We're loud and proud and we're coping with it! So below, allow me to present Haley's piece called "Anxiety: Taming the Worry Dragons". Hello reader, my name is Haley and I sometimes contribute to this blog. Upon reading Reanna’s post about her anxiety I was inspired to talk about my own. I have had anxiety and ADHD for my whole life, however, I wasn’t formally diagnosed with either one until I was 20 (I’m 22 now for reference). Just getting diagnosed was a struggle; my family actively discouraged me from talking to my doctor and taking medication. I had to almost completely independently venture into getting help. My mom wasn’t all-bad about it though, she just didn’t believe how bad things had gotten for me. She couldn’t understand the way my mind would race, how sometimes I would be laying in the fetal position thinking, “help me, help me, help me,” over and over again. All I wanted was for the thoughts to go away. I had no power against them, it felt like all I could do was wait for something, be it sleep or a distraction, to ease them for a time. I could not cope any longer; I couldn’t live the rest of my life constantly having my mind filled to the brim with fear and worry. This is what brings me to the subtitle of this piece “Taming the Worry Dragons.” When I was 11 and had my first run-in with extreme anxiety. My mom lovingly but ignorantly gave me this book, “Taming the Worry Dragons.” The book was filled with ideas and mantras angled towards children to help them “deal with their anxiety on their own.” Now, this might work for some people, but it certainly didn’t work for me. My worry at just 11 was so extreme that I gave myself ulcers and had terrible stomachaches for nearly two years. I tell this story to illustrate a point, don’t assume because you can cope with your worries and anxieties naturally that other people can. I dealt with my anxiety unhealthily for almost ten years because of the way I was treated when I tried to go to the people close to me for help. I got condescended too, belittled, and ultimately shamed into doing nothing about my very real illness. Flash-forward to today, I now take medication for my anxiety and ADHD, and I finally have a diagnosis (Generalized Anxiety Disorder with severe ADHD and OCD tendencies). I can’t stress enough how validating just getting a diagnosis is. It is so comforting to actually have people believe you and explain that you have an illness that can be treated, instead of suffering alone with your horrible and terrifying thoughts. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had hope, I could be “normal” (-ish). See medication has been crucial for me because of the level to which my mental health was affecting my everyday life. Throughout most of junior high and high school, I had bad and sometimes abusive relationships because of my mental illness. My anxiety can’t ever be fully blamed but its fairly difficult to maintain healthy relationships when your mind is constantly telling you everyone you love hates you and will leave you; and when they do leave you, its just more fuel for your mind to use against you later. I would spiral into these pits of my own making. My chest would feel tight, I would be sweaty, and I would feel sick to my stomach. In the end, I would usually isolate myself from the people I loved most to protect myself from the eventual (maybe) harm they would cause me. My mind was my worst enemy, and the medication is the only thing that has ever been able to quiet it. Now I feel like I can live normally, I can have lasting and worthwhile relationships, and I can cope with my day-to-day anxieties. All in all, the main things I have to say about anxiety are the following:
Thank you for reading, Haley Do you have your own experience with topics like anxiety, mental illness or coming out? I want to hear from you! Send your story to [email protected] and let me know if you'd want to be featured!
"Honestly, how do you cope?" a friend asks me in confidence one night after a combination of stories, secrets and beers spilt onto the table. We lean closer together to talk over the music, our elbows avoiding the mess we've made on the wooden top below. I smile, I open my mouth to speak, to tell them about my tips and tricks, my positive outlook and my diligence. But, by the beer or my own weakness, I say words that would resound in my head for weeks: "I'm not." And I wish I could write a blog that would inspire you with the top ten tricks to "getting over it," but that wouldn't be truthful. That wouldn't be my reality. The reality is that I'm living with it. I'm living with own brand of social and general anxiety mixed with a splash of the tendency to have attacks, and terrifying possibility of losing control, again. I'm on medication that only works when it wants to and a mountain of intrusive, harmful thoughts that are pushing on my shoulders so hard, so deep, that I stand frozen in fear as they slowly inch me into the ground. Why don't I get help? I hear this one a lot too. I wish I could fully express how it's more than hard to talk about, and anyone who has anxiety knows this feeling well. I've tried a handful of times and the system doesn't really seem to be here for us. They want to write you off with medication or tell you that it'll pass. I'm tired of it, so starting in 2017 I decided to fully acknowledge my anxiety, I don't pretend it's not part of me because, I honestly believe that ignoring it makes it worse. It makes it a secret, it makes it feel evil. I cannot speak for everyone, to explain this, let me explain how my own anxiety works. If I think about getting help, I'm immediately struck with the notion of inconvenience. I know that if I get help I'm going to have to talk to someone and take up their time and they may not find anything wrong. I've tried to get help in the past and I've been given barbiturates and the "you're just growing up, it's part of life' talk and nothing more than warm wishes. Then, because of my history, I'm afraid that no one will believe me. I'm annoying, I'm a hypochondriac. I'm an imposter. I begin cycling. Cycling, for those who have never experienced it, is what I call the tendency of those with anxiety to run circles in their head until they've gone from a normal thought to an intrusive one. I begin cycling at the thought of getting help, to wondering if anyone even cares if I get help, and if anyone cares and if I'm even worth the time and if I'm going to be worth anything and... you see what I mean. And when you get help, it's usually too awkward, too shameful and too hard to look another person in the eye and tell them that sometimes you feel so horrible and dark and bottomless inside that you're on fire and ice. I personally find the thought that I'm taking up space to be enough to start my anxiety, even though sometimes I wonder if it actually ever stops. I've tried so many times to explain and I usually end up answering with "things aren't too bad." I wish I could truly show what if feels like to cycle, to start with a normal task or thought and feel the unease in your chest, the tingles and electricity in your fingers, the paranoia. The shame that you feel, like you have to hide it like a dirty secret. You can't call in sick and, a lot of the time, you can't tell your parents what's wrong, even when they ask with the purest love and concern in their eyes. For some, like me, it's not a constant. It comes and goes in an untraceable pattern, threatening to sneak up on you at any moment. I can't show you, but I can let you inside one of the worst attacks I've ever had, I'll use an example. But I have to put a Trigger warning for Anxiety, dysmorphia, hallucinations, just in case. It's February 2017, and I'm working on an assignment. I'm 80 pounds heavier, unhappy, stuck in a bad relationship and home alone. I'm already on edge and 21 years of untreated, unrestrained anxiety courses through my veins. I'm not good enough. I finish the assignment I had been working on for 16 hours equating to 8000 words, I attempt to breathe. I make a cup of coffee and sit back down in my serene and clean living room and open my laptop. This is when I get an email that would change my entire life. My prof emailed to state that she was changing the assignment slightly, and though it may have seemed like nothing to her, it meant I would have to redo the entire assignment I had just finished from scratch. I would have to rewrite it all. Every. Last. Word. This doesn't seem like a lot to some people but to my workaholic, burned out, anxiety-ridden brain this had a particularly harsh sting. Something began to spiral, and I felt it build before I could try to reason it out. I heard internal voices screaming about how I was worthless and stupid, how nothing I ever did was good enough, nothing mattered, no one would ever actually love me, I was fat and annoying. They layered, I started hyperventilating, I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I saw myself distorted. This was my first experience with dysmorphia. I looked like I was in one of those funhouse mirrors: my nose too big, my arms were small, my eyes were bloodshot. I began to feel my pulse in my entire body, I could only hear my blood rushing, I felt irrational, I could feel myself building to a peak. I kept looking in the mirror and telling myself to calm down but at some point, I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror, I didn't feel real. I walked, slowly back into the living room to keep myself safe. Which was lucky because all I remember before blacking out was my own body twitching, my own mouth screaming. A scream I still can't forget, a scream that destroyed my voicebox for a week. I had finally experienced my first nuclear meltdown. But out of this, something good came. I freed myself of a lot of my burdens, I got on track to getting healthy and losing weight, and I talked to a doctor about my anxiety. Which, in turn, got me barbiturates, which are not great but a step in the right direction. So if you feel like I do, I encourage you to keep trying and be honest with yourself. Telling those close to you that you "drink lots of water and stay positive" will not help you when you're wracked with a chemical imbalance. That one was a bit sad, eh? So uhh, let's end on an encouraging thought! Here are my (sorta) tips for getting over it (and by that I mean, getting help) 1. Support: The best solution I've ever found on my road to dealing with anxiety is talking to other people who have anxiety. Learn their tricks and tips. Ask them to be your sounding board, use them to learn not to apologize as much (if possible, I don't think I'll ever learn). 2. Ask for help (baby steps): Ask someone without Anxiety around you to help you get professional help. My mother has been helpful in pushing me and reminding me that I "actually have to make an appointment" and then making the appointment for me when I find myself petrified. 3. Journaling: When you're going through intrusive thoughts, write them down. This helps reestablish perspective, aid in your own understanding and assist in relaying your internal anxieties to doctors. 4. Exercise (or meditation): When you're too stressed, physical activity or meditation is actually very helpful. I know it feels like garbage at first but fun activities like Yoga and Zumba have been incredible for helping me feel better. There's something about sweating that really seems to get you balanced again, and the control, silence and peace you feel in Yoga really does help with mental stability later on. (I've used this to talk myself down a couple times). Accepting your anxiety (or other mental illness) and standing to face it is braver than rising to slay a dragon. I'm standing up to mine with shaky legs and little strength, but I know I'll overcome it. and I know you can do it too, reader! I'm trying to cope, and if you ever need help coping until you can get the help you need, I am more than willing to offer support. Additional note: I'm excited to think that the next time someone asks me, "How do you cope?" I can answer "better" or "together". Which is super lame, but it's my new truth.
Snapchat's influence on current social media culture probably doesn't probably even register for those who have never used the app. So for those who don't know what Snapchat is, Snapchat is a multimedia messaging application that's logo is a ghost because images are only available for less than 10-seconds before disappearing forever! Looking back, I'm not sure why this idea appealed to me so much as a teen, maybe it was the filters and the ability to show people what I was doing at all times to make them jealous or show them how cool I was, you know, teen stuff. It's creation was like a smartphone superdrug: everyone had it, everyone wanted it and everyone talked about it, even mainstream media. Though it's creation resulted in some unsavoury issues like revenge porn and nude leaks, Snapchat has always bounced back as a fun and creative way to stay in touch with friends and fans. After it's launch in 2011, Snapchat was a communication phenomenon and a social media innovator. For all the kids who never experienced early cell phone technology, pre-snapchat photo messaging consisted of either Skype or sending MMS (Multimedia messaging service) over text message or, later on, Facebook. It even used to cost extra to send pictures and videos! I shake my head when I think about the beginnings of cellphones (like how internet used to cost an arm and a leg and you'd pray it didn't show up on your bill when you accidentally hit the internet button in your menu). The quality of the media sent was garbage and you couldn't do any of the fun cute things that Snapchat allowed you to do! AR filters, geotags, stories, writing on images, stickers! Believe it or not, Snapchat started them all! I remember the dog filter literally broke the internet when it originally came out, and people actually used to get angry when people used them. The only unoriginal thing they seemed to implement were on-demand colour filters from Instagram, which was already a thing on many other platforms.
Later, Instagram let users have private conversations and send images back and forth, and they made it so you could follow your favourite artists and insta-stars and see their stories without having them add you/follow you back. Plainly, Snapchat just can't seem to keep up. When Instagram added gifs and new font to their story add-on's, Snapchat response after with a couple different font options but nothing innovative. The issue comes from the lack of competition, Snapchat doesn't feel the threat of losing users because similar to giants like YouTube, there are no other apps that come close to them. They do small maintenance and very rarely listen to the consumers and still receive great results. So really why would they change anything? Snapchat's daily active users (in the US) is still strong and expanding exponentially, as it reached 68 million daily active users in 2017. Snapchat still remains strong among young kids, where 12-17-year-olds make up 70% of all Snapchatters and every time I see one of my friends younger siblings, they're usually using Snapchat to interact with their friends. So is it dead? Well, Kylie Jenner, "the Queen of Snapchat" seems to think so. And get this! As a result, Snapchat's stocks actually lost 1.3 million dollars in value. Man, the Kardashians have too much influence, but that's for another time. I hadn't even been aware of this tweet when I started writing this article, I searched "Is snapchat dead?" to see what people thought and it popped up. And I think it says something that not just influencers are feeling this decline in Snapchat popularity. I recently was working with a marketing team who wanted to integrate Snapchat as one of their social media outlets, and while working on this I began to realize some issues with the platform. 1. A draw! There's nothing drawing people into the app unless their actively using it already. And nobody can argue that their tabloid section does much to help this. Don't even try. 2. Made for individuals! The app is designed for individuals and doesn't work well for corporate means. One of the reasons other platforms like Instagram do well is it's ability for people to follow brands they like and for brands to promote themselves. So this keeps certain markets out of the app. 3. Lack of Change Besides adding new filters, I don't feel like Snapchat has launched any new changes that topped their original launch. If anything, people are begging for any new changes to be fixed and Snapchat's response is to make their app more like Instagram (Integrated .gifs etc.) Personally, I don't think that Snapchat is dead. I think that it's downfall is going to be it's key demographic. It's main audience use the app to communicate with friends and show off what they're doing but there is no further substance to keep it afloat. So eventually, the teens who use the app now will find themselves asking the same question. The real question is whether Snapchat will continue into the 2020's or whether it'll be one of those things that only 2010's kids remember. But once again, since there is no competition for its young audience to jump to I'm fairly sure that the app will still survive in one way or another, even after Kylie's tweet. And even with the multifaceted Instagram expanding its functionality, it doesn't offer the exact same experience and options that made Snapchat the social media giant that it is, so its threat is essentially minimal. For those who feel like it's dead, it seems that it's not the app's fault, it's stayed the same. It's the changes in our own personal lives and circles. There are still 3 billion Snaps sent daily, so it seems that Snapchat isn't dead but maybe the Snapchat loving younger version of ourselves is. RIP.
I know today's post is early! I've been working with a friend on something special for valentines day so I hope you enjoy! I know you're tired of hearing it. You don't want to hear about Valentine's Day or Singles Awareness Day or anything to do with how "we're not doing Valentine's Day today/this year". And even though Valentine's Day is the corporate mess, this year I find myself longing for this day. And not just because I finally have a relationship I'd like to celebrate (anyways, "we're not doing Valentine's Day" (I know, yuck)) but because I think the world needs a little bit more love, a little bit more context for what love can be and a little overhaul of how we define Valentine's Day, hopefully extending it's meaning and impact beyond candy hearts. What's the mission? Well, 2017 was the year of self-love, so your mission going into 2018 is to learn to spread that love to others. Admittedly, the world is a scary and unpredictable place. There are so many things that should terrify us beyond getting out of bed. Missiles and war, poverty and extinction, the pure thought that today could be the last time you wake up, brush your teeth and forget to eat breakfast because you're late. As a general pessimist, I like to believe that life moves on because it has to. Essentially, we're motivated by survival and love, things that intertwines more than we'd like to admit. To get a little anecdotal, yesterday I had my iPhone stolen right in front of me and it made me long for a day when people would stop being so cruel and horrible to each other. I was left scared, violated and stressed. I spent the day changing my passwords, talking to police and forgetting to eat until I had a visit from favourite humans (Haley, my co-writer, and Lucas, her boyfriend and my friend). Over ramen, they reminded me how comfort and love can change a mood, lighten a room and be a spark that can motivate you to be better. I used to be the kind of person who would only seek out this kind of validation and love from a significant other, I would turn away from people who would extend me something as simple as sitting with me, laughing and eating noodles. For some, it's still a foreign concept that I'm getting this kind of affirmation from someone who isn't my significant other, and I hope that they someday they get to experience other vessels of love like I have. Haley and Lucas held hands and later they kissed and I didn't have to join in (not for lack of trying) (just kidding) (sort of) in order to feel the rejuvenating feeling of a kind act and the love that they afforded me. Luckily, today came fast. It's always felt insane to me to think how much nurture can change how a human being grows up. Essentially, how much your mother holds you as a baby (associated with many, many, many other factors) can change whether you would return a wallet you found, take the money and drop it/return it without cash, or take the whole thing and bin it after. So this Valentine's Day, let's try to influence change in others. I'm personally devoting myself to give more love to strangers and I'm going to go out of my way to make sure at least one person feels appreciated, noticed and cared for. It's so easy to feel alone and like no one sees you and if you're reading this know that I love you, see you and care about you (not in a creepy way, I promise). Repeat after me, Love doesn't have to be gifts and monogamous affection. People always joke that they're 'forever alone' or that they have a 'Galentine', admitting that love needs qualifications. And while I don't think you should go and smooch your best friend (or do, I'm not judging), I think we should stop putting pressures on certain types of love and disallowing ourselves from experiencing all types. Love is a feeling that is associated with security, trust, honesty and fulfilment, and the rest is conditional. So why can't my best friend be my soulmate or my valentine? More on this later. So how do we redefine Valentine's Day without giving it new, and frankly shittier, name? (sorry, 'galentine') First, stop making how other people celebrate Valentine's Day a big deal. The pressure we put on other people is a huge part of the toxicity of Valentine's Day. Second, acknowledge and appreciate others. Not just your significant other, and not just today. Someone you care about might need that extra attention on the 15th or 16th or 21st. Third, don't be afraid to cuddle and to say I Love You. Don't let fear and intrusive nature prevent you from experiencing, appreciating and being appreciated. Fourth, do at least one thing today to make the overall love in the world increase. Something small, but could be big in the eyes of a weary traveller who hasn't hear love's name in a long time. Give a compliment, pay it forward, leave someone a note, bring coffee into the office. Call your parents/grandparents, tell them how much you love them. Send your best friend a playlist. My best friend and I send each other special playlists. a weird past-time, I know, but I feel like it shows our time, love, commitment, thought and intimacy in a way that doesn't require us to be in the same room. We're busy often and our own anxieties and lives get in the way. But when I miss her, I send her a playlist to remind her that love isn't ignorant, blind, heterosexual, atypical or temporary. She's my true Valentine (Tim, my boyfriend, is gonna love this one), and so are you reader! So I've included them below, to remind you that love can be anything you want it to be, even something as simple as a playlist crafted and shared on YouTube. Go spread some love, Valentine! Let's redefine Valentine's Day for the betterment of all and destroy it's capitalist roots, once and for all! Except for the chocolate, let's keep that part. We can get rid of all the other stuff but chocolate is amazing and it is clearly superior to candy hearts. Fight me on this one. Sorry, I got off track, uhh... love and stuff.
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