With Valentine's day approaching, I thought I should probably write about love... Let me make this very apparent to you, I hate writing about love. Every time I sit down to write about love all I can find myself thinking about is the elephant love song from the Moulin Rouge and I get "Love is a many splendored thing, all you need is love" stuck in my head. Long story short, I believe that there is no original content about love. Heterosexual love, that is. Since I was about 13 years old, I knew I liked boys and girls and thinking back I probably knew it my whole life. In my primary years, I was raised in a Roman Catholic school surrounded by heterosexual parents, siblings and friends. So, if this is your first time hearing about this and you think it took me a long time to come out, let me tell you, I think it took me an equally long amount of time to come out to myself. I didn't want to accept the truth: I was the Gay Cousin, the needy bisexual scene girl teen, the forgotten B. Eventually, I went from completely ignoring the topic to being 15 years old and biting my own tongue until it bled at family gatherings when one of the elderly members discussed that they didn't get why "the gays needed a parade now". They we're lucky in those days because, as an adult, I'm not so quiet anymore. My first kiss was with a friend, a female friend, and though it had the innocence of two 13-year-old girls practicing kissing because they were worried about what they would do with their teeth (which was a real anxiety I had in my life at one point).
Anyways, for my entire teenage years I would keep my sexuality a secret for fear that I wouldn't be accepted, but when I turned 18, I began to express myself more and have even gotten close to having a girlfriend. For now, I've mostly just gone out on dates. More on that later. Where am I now? I'm openly bisexual to mostly everyone. I pick and choose where is a good environment to let my rainbow flag fly. For some, this may be me finally coming out and, if that's the case, I have a question for you: did you really not suspect anything? Like at all? I digress. Anyways, this is what you're here for, here are four things that you have to know about being a bisexual, and how life as a bisexual is with a boyfriend. 1. Dating as a bisexual is hard. Whether its when you're single or in committed relationships, dating is hard. As a female going on dates, especially in the Edmonton (Alberta) region it's incredibly difficult to find people that A) understand what being bisexual actually means and B) are women that are attracted to women. Lots of people think they know what bisexuality is, but if I get one more person asking me about three-ways I'm going to launch myself into the gay sun (yes, a special sun only for the gays). And finding women who are openly gay, not experimenting, not irreparably quirky, do not thin Trump has some "okay ideas" and is actually single in Edmonton is next to impossible. I've gone on a string of dates where I've been hopefully but found myself meeting people who are "actually in a couple and want me to join them" or "are just looking to explore themselves", or even once a friend of mine went on a date with a girl who followed her to the grocery store after their coffee date and tried to hang out after that. So generally it's difficult, I'm not claiming to have had the hardest time but it's hard out here for a bish(sexual). 2. Being bisexual in the LGBTQ community is also hard. Main misconception: The assumption that if you're dating one or the other, you're either a lesbian or straight. I've faced a couple times where people have accused me of being straight because I've only ever had serious boyfriends, but this ties back to the last fact: it's hard out here for a dating bisexual. I've experienced less discrimination than others, but I do generally feel out of place when I go to a place like Gay Pride holding my boyfriend's hand, almost as if I'm being demoted to an ally. (Which I'm not implying is a downgrade, it's just the attitude towards my presence in a gay club when I'm perceivably straight) 3. Bisexuality isn't 50/50 Bisexuality can't be reduced to half Marinara sauce and half Alfredo sauce, even though 50/50 sauce is delicious, sometimes you want more tomato or more cream (ew I'm sorry for this analogy already). Every person has their own preferences, I have a friend who seriously believes that she has about a 1% attraction to men and her current boyfriend somehow qualified. Me personally? It fluctuates. Actually, that's another good point. 3.1 Bisexuality isn't just one thing Don't try to make it one thing, you don't have to completely understand it. I don't even entirely understand it. Just respect it and learn as much as you can. 4. Having a support system is EVERYTHING. As someone who has floated around in relationships with friends and significant others who were less than supportive, or willing to learn, I find myself incredibly fulfilled. One of my best friends is bisexual and my other best friends are actively respectful, learning and allies to me. Also, I find myself in the incredible position of having a loving, supportive boyfriend who has similar feelings about fluid gender and sexuality, even if he identifies as straight. With him, he understands that "making out with girls" can be considered as cheating and that I'm not inclined to cheat on him just because I'm bisexual. (Consider this, despite being bisexual, I'm a person who experiences attachments to others and is generally grown up to have a conversation with my partner, huh weird) In fact, his support has allowed me to consider everything thoroughly, allowing me to consider and talk more about my evolving sexuality which I'd like to identify as pansexual. A Pansexual, with a boyfriend. Sexuality is ever evolving and ever-changing, and I think someday I may feel 'comfortable in my skin' enough to explore this fully but for now, I'm feeling very safe and confident. When considering my complaints and thinking about how my woes about representation aren't exactly true, consider this: tell me the last time you saw a character on TV that liked more than one gender of the opposing sex, okay you thought of one. But now try this, when was the last time you saw someone on television that liked more than one gender AND wasn't played as a 'horny bisexual' character arch. Yeah. Likely, you couldn't think of any. I'm bisexual and I can't even think of a single character in popular media that expresses casually their love for men and women or, even, expressing pansexual values. The only positive bisexual character that I can even begin to think of, and this was after some
Signed, A Bisexual, with a Boyfriend.
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some, others make a living on sites like Facebook, YouTube and Instagram. Out of this, a new wave of self made models have began conquering Instagram and have successfully harnessed it as an outlet to launch their brands and connect with an audience. Everything from suicide girls and fitness gurus to boudoir shoots and style bloggers, working for themselves on Instagram is a reality for many. For Alycia Benson (@alycia.benson), an Edmonton based model, does it all! And though her photos appear that she “has been posing for years”, her journey into this insane world of Instagram modelling has just begun earlier this year. Free time is scarce for this insta-model works two full time jobs, attends school to get her EMR certificate and focuses on keeping herself healthy and fit, and at night she’s just a girl who simply “enjoys posting scandalous pictures of herself”! Though she swears that she “fell into instagram modelling accidentally on purpose”, at the age of 23, Alycia has built a following of almost 1000 followers in just under a year. She started with a fun Whyte Avenue photoshoot with her friend Lea Thwaites (@mewmewlea) and Amy Marsh (@Amy_Marsh_Photography) and has now expanded to different types of sultry boudoir shots, spooky halloween themed looks, cosplay and general high quality photos of her herself in various locations, like her most recent trip to Cuba. She mused over the experience, where her and a friend dedicated two sunsets to getting some cute photos for her to share. Though it took hours to get the sand out of her hair and out of places -- she claimed jokingly-- that sand should never be, it was exhilarating and “completely worth it”. When she posted these photos to Instagram, Alycia got a very positive response, which has given her confidence about the next year or so in her insta-modeling life. In the beginning, she looked up to her insta-spirations, two notable ones being Nikki Blakketter (@nikkiblackketter), a self proclaimed “gymshark” and Ashley Resch (@ashleyresch), an insta-model from Calgary! These two creators show the values that Alycia strives to keep in her everyday life staying fit, healthy and busy! Her personal insta-spiration comes from building self confidence and pushing any anxieties aside to try something new. Similar to her love for Ashley Resh, Alycia loves to follow local creators and create a network with them, and through this Alycia has had the opportunity to work with many different talents. It finally began to feel real for Alycia when she did her halloween photoshoot in collaboration and the community outreach after this was so encouraging. Other industry Instagrammers and photographers gave her tips, like turning her account into a business in order to see stats (something she says she hasn't regretted once). Working with local businesses and talent has been an asset to Alycia, she's "so grateful for any support [she] can get because it can be so easy to be discouraged”. Among the support from other models and brands, Alycia affirms that the photographers she works with truly push her and assist her in reaching a new level. Photographers like her friend Amy Marsh, or most recently, Ken Soong (@beautyandboudoir) who Alycia says is the best boudoir/glamour/portrait photographers in Edmonton! And he recently reached out to her, which she admitted through a huge smile, that is was a personal goal for her and that she’s “still fangirling over it”. “you’re really at your most vulnerable when you’re naked (or nearly naked)"The insane confidence boost she got from seeing all of this hard work pay off and going through the process of getting her photos from start to finish are her favourite parts of being an upcoming insta-model. Humbly, when discussing her process, Alycia admits that without the support of her boyfriend that she would find is very difficult to do everything she has in the works. She states, “you’re really at your most vulnerable when you’re naked (or nearly naked), so to see that there is zero judgement, from my boyfriend and close friends is amazing,” especially when there's a potential for a romantic partner to become jealous or weird about her posting naked on instagram. Her boyfriend has even taken an active role in her process and has acted as her photographer on many occasions, it has also inspired him to pursue boudoir and fitness photography! But how do others feel about her pursuit? Her supporters, like her boyfriend and friends, are--well--supportive and describe her as “compassionate, wild and vaguely intimidating”. Her boss, who asked when she would be pushing that “fit tea garbage”, and her coworkers and friends all double-tap her photos hoping that she ‘goes viral”. “No one is going to recognize my butt”Alycia believes most negative comments she gets results from “a generational thing” but, besides random comments, nothing about posing almost nude or implied nude has really affected her life negatively. Essentially, “no one is going to recognize my butt” and, honestly, the photos have actually helped her find more opportunities through brand deals and modeling for local businesses. So if anything, this entire experience has been an incredibly positive little ripple in her life. Pursuing modelling full time and sponsored traveling as a result are two of Alycia’s goals but she also doesn’t like to think long term, so right now these are just long-term goals. Her current real-time aspirations come from working to inspire and motivate women to find their own sexuality and be confident. Alycia now finds her own confidence and sexuality in front of the camera, she finds it empowering and freeing, like “seduction on steroids”. Now when she looks at a photo herself wrapped in beautiful lingerie and moonlight through gorgeous curtains, instead of asking “is that me?” she feels the confidence to say “that is me”. Looking towards the future, Alycia hopes to gain 2000 followers by the end of 2018, and continue to work on becoming her best self. Her advice to any aspiring insta-models out there is that “Instagram is your best self out out there for everyone to see, and if what you post makes you happy and doesn’t harm yourself or others, who cares? I’m a lot happier now that I care less what others think.”
Greetings and salutations.
The other night I was casually drinking wine and watching one of my favourite 80s classics, Heathers, with my best friend when we got on the topic of movie remakes. It's true, Heathers, they're remaking our favourite movie. No, I'm not referring to Mean Girls or The incredible musical adaptation, they're making a 2018 updated version of Heathers as a television show. We gave it a chance and watched the trailer but we immediately found a flaw in it that so many new 80s remakes are guilty of: fake originality. And I hear your first thought, "Hello, Reanna, it's a remake! It's not original", but that's where I'll stop you because this thought process is wrong. So f**k me gently with a chainsaw, let's get into it. We all have our own favourite old movie that got a less than satisfactory remake. Our love for this one specific movie is God. So when they take it and duct tape it together, it kinda hurts us and feels like we're robbed of something that may or may not have defined us as growing up. I know you're even thinking of one right now, and we're all asking the same questions. Why make a remake? To introduce old film concepts to new generations? Is Hollywood really out of ideas? Film student and critic Haley Ludyk thinks that "remakes can be valuable in order to refresh the material or to bring in new audiences. But, generally most remakes are created purely in the name of making a buck... remakes should only be made if they aim to actually improve on the original material." And I'm also an advocate for this same concept. And this principle is pretty universal, improving is the integral component to remaking anything. I believe that new ideas in film are few and far between, so Hollywood gets a little bit more leeway when announcing that they're going to remake movies like Footloose (which I'm still angry about). We get it, we've seen every love story and paranormal event 100 times over, but there is still no excuse for remaking Footloose (2011) with a country soundtrack, it's evil, it's not cool, it's BAD and EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH IT IS BAD! Do you hear me Hollywood? BAD. It's rant time and I feel that the title of this post comes off as rude but, please, let me explain myself. I'm an introvert, which means I thrive in alone time and love doing things like binging a whole season of friends instead of going out on weekends, but I've been trying to change this. Since the beginning of 2017 (which is a year ago as of writing this), I decided that I was going to trade out all that time alone in exchange for real life experiences and social interaction (yuck). This was great at the beginning (and I suggest it fully), I met new people and did my fair share of questionable things, and it didn't take long until it was normal and exciting to explore stepping out of my comfort zone. But eventually I began to realize that I was behind on every show, podcast, youtube video and book that I had cherished in the past, almost as if they were my friends, so I had to try and find a balance. This is where the title comes in... I love you all but stop recommending new shows to me. I feel that it's common now for all of us to favour Netflix on-demand media instead of television or DVDs as entertainment and I, for one, stream everything! Even shows and movies I own. I'm not going to get technical on why this is the case, as black mirror would say "its the computers! It's the phones! We're all robots! No one has feelings!" etc. Sorry, I got distracted. Anyways, because we have such quick access to shows there seems to be this new expectation that we've seen it all and that the conditions on spoilers have a quicker expiration date. I once had someone tell me that because Star Wars: The Force Awakens had been out for two weeks that I couldn't be mad about him spoiling it for me, but I digress. Tying back to my newfound extrovertedness, this change in how we consume media means that every time I go to an event or meet a new friend, or even work a shift at work, there's always someone who goes "oooh! Have you seen ___" and as someone who goes to school full time and works part time, 90% of the time I have not. Because of these novelty conversations, I find myself with a list of shows so long I feel that it may take my whole life to watch them. Right now alone I have Black Mirror (18h 9m), the (british and american) office (7h and 99h 30m), friends (121h), Buffy (144h) and Star Trek: The Next Generation (178h) all on the go, based off of suggestions. That alone is 567 hours and 39 minutes which about 23.6 days work of content if you were to watch it without a break. And these are only 6 of the approximately 123 shows I want to watch, and this also doesn't include films and youtube content. You feeling overwhelmed yet? Watching television slowly turned from a fun thing I crave to do while I spend long hours at school or work, but now a daunting task that has left me stuck on season 5 episode 22 of Bones (which I have to point out has 12 seasons that ranges between 22-24 episodes per season which all average a run time of about 42 minutes which leaves you with 246 hours of content or 10ish days). So for my sanity and the sanity of others, I think we need to change the way we suggest television shows. The way people suggest and check up on these suggestions has, in the past, made me write off entire television shows before I even gave them a chance: shows like Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Fraiser, and, until recently, The Office. And I don't want to appear as some unappreciative whiner, so I created basic 5 guidelines to help change how we suggest television shows to another person 1. If someone asks for a suggestion, please rattle it off. There's nothing wrong with suggesting, just maybe don't force it on people. 2. Ask "do you need any show suggestions?" This is an easy question that won't offend anyone but opens a bigger conversation about shows. 3. Describe the show without spoilers and let them decide Saying "last night I watched ____ and I loved it" is different from "last night I watched ____ and you should totally watch it"! 4. When someone hasn't seen the show you're talking about do not respond with "you HAVE to watch it" You HAVE to, no pressure though. 5. If you bring it up again and someone still hasn't watched it, do not pressure them. I've had people get very offended that I didn't drop everything I was doing to watch a show that has 7 seasons, bye. But anyways, now that you're done here, have you guys seen Love Sick on netflix? You should totally watch it! You HAVE to! It's so good and I think you'd love it!
Bleaching is a nightmare! I've been through it once and as a result, I have attempted to avoid it in every way possible. but I have just one problem... My hair is blue and I want it to be purple So after a night of googling for alternatives I saw lots of people suggesting bleach powder or lighteners, all things I'd toyed with in the past and will never touch again. But then something caught my eye How to: Remove Hair Dye, a post made by a British company named Superdrug (which i once spilt an entire iced coffee in and ran, sorry bye), so i looked into it. This post claimed that all I'd need would be shampoo and vitamin C tablets, and since vitamin c is quite good for your hair I decided to try it out on my own. So I now I know your wondering, I'm not some big company, how exactly does one ACTUALLY do this? Well, I'm going to tell you on today's episode of "Reanna the extremely amateur hair technician". The first thing I have to stress is the type of vitamin c you get! It has to be actual tablets, not chewable ones (I guarantee its awful if you use chewables), besides that it really doesn't matter what brand you get as long as they're the powery type tablets that I have in the image below. Also the amount is not really set, I used about 2 tablespoons of them because I have lots of hair and I wanted to guarantee full coverage. Optional Step 0.1: The day or night before you attempt this, try a homemade coconut oil, honey and olive oil hair mask to strengthen hair and make it shiny! I do these one a week and it keeps my hair from looking fried! Step 1: Crush the Vitamin C Tablets In my research I saw that you can purchase vitamin c powder but I couldn't find any so we have to do it the old fashioned way! For this step, many places online will suggest using a pestle and mortar but I don't, and probably never will, own one so I improvised like the trash human I am. Needed: One wine bottle and vitamin c tablets
Step 2: Mixing time! This step requires you to mix your tablets and shampoo together! I've been told by the internet and a friend that Head and Shoulders Shampoo is the way to go when washing colour out of your hair so I grabbed a bottle of their super dandruff fighting shampoo (that I definitely did not already have in the house because I do not have dandruff I swear). Needed: Crushed vitamin c tablet powder, head and shoulders (or dandruff) shampoo, a dish and mixing utensil. Before I started I switched the powder into a non-fancy dishwasher safe bowl to make clean up easier and grabbed a tiny spoon to help mix everything together! I put about a quarter cup of shampoo into the bowl and began to stir, making sure that all the vitamin c powder got mixed in. Make sure you add or add less, depending on how much hair you need to fade. This took about 3-4 minutes of serious mixing and adding of shampoo to get the right consistency. You'll notice the shampoo changes in consistency, its a little thicker and stickier. Step 3: Put it on your hair! Needed: A "time to dye" shirt, a hairbrush or comb, hair ties, and (optional) an applicator brush
3.1 Optional step: Once you've slathered it throughout all your coloured areas, I put in a little bit more shampoo all over my head just to ensure that everything is covered and saturated! Step 4: Pull everything back and wait! Some people like to put their hair in a shower cap, but I generally just pull my hair back into a low bun and flip my bangs up with the help of whatever mixture I'm putting in my hair.
So while you're waiting make a cup of tea and pull up an episode of black mirror, or play a day or two on stardew valley. The nice thing about this mixture is that it isn't drippy and you can sit quite comfortably with it in your hair for long periods of time. I actually wrote this blog while waiting, and now I'm about to find out the results! Be right back!! Step 5: Washing it out Make sure you have a dark or throw away towel for any dye that might come off and use hot water to help make the colour fade! Needed: A dark towel, head and shoulders, coconut oil/hair mask, conditioner So I'm back, after waiting another 30 minutes, because I'm a little extra, I washed out the mixture. I was shocked to find that there was very little dye coming out of my hair. So I went ahead and did two shampoos with the head and shoulders shampoo i used earlier and then added coconut oil to my hair to help with any damage that might have been done to my hair in the process.
Ehem... newcomers are not ruining your gym! I know theres a joke that goes around about the January resolutioners, and I'm aware that it has some basis in fact. People fall off the bandwagon of health every day, this I am aware of, but hasn't the joke become a bit cliche? It's all I've heard on every radio station, podcast and television show for the last week and it's created this toxic culture where we attempt to shame those who say "new year, new me". But isn't that what the new year is all about? Change and starting over? So what's the problem with resolutioners? Infact, I tend to believe that the issue comes from the people within the gym themselves who view outcomers as some pariah. And I'm writing this blog today to explore why we should leave that negativity in the past year! 2018 is the year of self love and encouraging others. What's shocking to me is that when you talk to people who are serious about their fitness the vibe that is generally given off is very positive and encouraging. Heck, one of my old coworkers used to razz me about letting her train me when I was still overweight. She's now officially a personal trainer and is my motivation whenever I feel like shipping the gym, you should check her out on her instagram, @susan_squats. After that motivation, I sort of became that person. I was the one at work exclaiming to people that they needed to get in shape and keep positive to achieve their best self. Personally, there was only one time I was a regular member of the gym and I have to say that the general perception at a good gym is of positivity and support, besides that one person who's always giving you the stink eye from the stair machine. And trust me, no matter what month or time or gym, there will always be that person. Just before Christmas (the last time I was at the gym, admittedly) I was talking to another person in my Zumba class, when she confided in me that she was going to work out at home so that she didn't have to be around all the resolutioners, and this got me thinking.
According to a recent Ipsos poll 73 per cent of Canadians break their New Years resolutions by February. So I can see why people are upset wit the idea that people are using and throwing aways their lifestyle so frivolously, but it's important to consider that a similar Ipsos poll stated that only 33% of Canadians that make resolutions make personal fitness one of their goals and every year it becomes less. And as of 2017, there isn't a single province in Canada that has a majority of average or underweight people. The percentage of overweight people, as discovered by Global News, is increasing annually. Now, I used to be part of that almost 30% of Canadians that are obese with a BMI of 36 and a weight of around 230 pounds and I, believe it or not, was one of these resolutioners. If I hadn't had a great support system and a wonderful supportive gym atmosphere, I may have stopped attending in the first month. But my instructors were kind and friendly, other gym members would chat with me in the locker room and got to know me and my family/friends were unbelievably supportive. A year later, I went from my BMI being obese, to overweight and finally as of January, I've lost almost 80 pounds and have a BMI of 23.6 which is in the normal weight BMI for my height. So instead of discouraging people from bettering themselves why don't we make an attempt at bettering everyone. Be encouraging, offer help and motivation or even, if possible, just mind your own business as to what people do with the beginning of their year. Because that might be all someone needs to change their entire life. Did you make any New Years resolutions this year? Or are you part of the 70% who don't bother? Let me know in the comments below!
Before you read this I have to warn everyone that it's a bit more personal than my other posts and has some trigger warning content. 2017 has been insane, let's just put it that way. Last year i weighed 230 pounds, I had red hair and my opinion of myself (and my future) was bleak. And mostly, the insanity hasn't really been from any of these things! All of you are probably now genuinely concerned as to what has happened that could contrast the 80 pound weight loss, blue haired, mental health revolution that was 2017 and I've decided I'm not going to tell you. Just kidding. The most insane part of this year, I would say is my personal growth. I feel that though these events in my life occurred, and outwardly they appear to be the most dramatic changes about me, but those close to me would inevitably tell you otherwise. This year has brought on new understanding of myself as a person, in more ways than one. Past trauma had caused me to shut myself down, and I feel that until February of 2017 I had been on auto pilot. I felt I didn't deserve love, happiness or anything in-between and now I think I understand what it means to be a real person now. The hard work it takes, the strange affliction to love small cute things unconditionally and putting yourself out there to really change things, and even now I'm trying to relearn that not everything is my fault. I went from 'fat' reanna, the girl who thought about killing herself and cried almost daily to the 'edgy' reanna (I promise I'm not calling myself edgy, theres another story behind this one) who has accepted many unpleasant parts of her life, put aside her anger and can't remember the last time she cried tears of sadness. To be honest with you, the last tears I cried was because I got to meet my sisters new puppy, Clover. And in the process of being kind to myself, I think I've learned to be kinder to others. I think it takes a lot to step back and look at other people and realize that almost everyone goes through the same things and that, for the most part, when people do things like not respond to your texts or snap at you, it's most likely them going through their own pain. People are inherently defensive and maintain an element of self preservation by nature. But with this I've also had to learn that some people don't deserve the benefit of the doubt because toxic people can't be changed, they'll just continue to poison the waterhole. So what now? I have a year left before I graduate and I'm going to have to get a placement soon. I've set certain parameters for myself and I'm going to write them here so I can't escape them. This year (2018) I am going to 1. Post on this blog every friday 2. Continue to take my medication and seek out therapy 3. Read at least four books that aren't for school 4. Find an internship that pays. 5. Mantain my weight 6. Save money for a japan trip 7. Maintain, or raise, my GPA 8. Play more video games 9. Dye my hair purple 10. Be kind to myself. I hope everyone has a wonderful new year! Thank you for reading! I'm including a gallery at the bottom of my favourite photos of 2017, so scroll through them and tell me what your favourite memory is in the comments!
Does anyone else find the concept of changing your hair colour or cut so daunting that you'll continue dying your hair the same colour for years? No? Well, I'm this kind of person. Change has never been easy for me; I was always the kid who cried when someone she barely knew left her school or the one who had an identity crisis at the young age of 18 when I was forced into the real world after graduation. I've always wondered why. It's possible that it's because my childhood was filled with simple, suburban stability. My parents went to work and my siblings took care of me, I went to the same school for years and never had to compromise who I was. This might also explain why I'm such a strange adult, but we don't have enough text space to even begin to get into that. Recently, to accompany the accomplishment of --finally-- tackling my anxiety in a healthy way, I've been trying to be a bit more impulsive and not let my worrying prevent me from being who I want to be. So this week I did it. I went to the hair dresser and got her to chop my bangs in the way I always dreamed, not worrying what it may make me look like. I bleached my hair and dyed it, I didn't ask anyone their opinion. I sat in my upstairs bathroom and destroyed my hair. The results are questionable, but the power I feel from this transformation is electric. And now, more so than I ever have, I feel like myself.
Confident and without barriers, it reminds me of my time overseas. The first time I ever felt free, independent and stronger than my mental illness. I notice the immediate difference, people look at me differently and I find that the rush of changing my appearance may become an addiction. For the first time in my life I feel... sexy? Maybe? or maybe just confident is the best word for it. I remember and old fling telling me in the middle of the night when all thought of protecting each others feelings had left us that though I wasn't a classic beauty, I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. He said my confidence made everything about me glow. I missed feeling that way. It's extremely shocking to me that there are people out there who are disgusted by fun, rainbow colour hair or tattoos or piercings. This is probably because of where they grew up, or the people they've known in their lifetime, but sometimes I have to wonder if they have ever felt as confident and radiant and commanding as I do when I stand in a room with my blue hair and nose ring. Or how my friends feel with their tattoos and piercings and their unique hair styles, all telling a story and expressing how they feel on the inside. I often find myself thinking, do other people find this kind of confidence from within themselves in other ways? Or do most people find someone else who makes them feel this way. Maybe I'll never know. All I know is that I hope that this feeling never fades, even if my blue hair does.
“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” – Martin Buber
Traveling can be nerve wracking and if you’re constantly worried about the safety of your stuff and yourself, it can really take away from the adventure. Here are my tips and tricks for feeling and being safer on trips! The first tips I can offer all involve avoiding being pick pocketed go hand in hand; be aware, keep your money in separate places, don’t take all your money with you and avoid looking like a tourist. If you do these, and obtain a bag that has a zipper or is hard to get into, your money will be safer. I have never been pickpocketed before thanks to these rules I set for myself when I travel, and if I had been I wouldn’t lose everything all at once. This generally allows for you to feel safer and be less worried about keeping your hand on your bag. Just be aware and healthily suspicious of strangers, this can make the difference. The next tips involves general security; always scan or photocopy your travel documents and get travel insurance. I cannot stress this enough, have a copy of your passport either scanned or photocopied. This way, if you lose your passport or are pickpocketed you will not have to wait weeks to get a new passport at the embassy, usually they can get you one within 24 hours if you have proof of citizenship. Also, travel insurance never hurts. It helps incase of injury or sickness, but also loss of belongings. Which is nice. Finally, keep in touch with people you know, don’t hesitate to ask the locals and trust your gut. The human connection is not to be ignored when it comes to feeling secure, sometimes people are your best resource so you might as well take opportunities. I always keep in touch with someone while i’m on vacation, whether it’s the lady who owns the hostel, another traveler or even my mother. This can make sure that if something goes wrong, there’s a trace of you, which I find extremely comforting. If you ever don’t know, you can also ask locals about areas and things to do outside of the typical tourist itinerary. They will know better than anyone, except for one person, you. Ultimately, trust your gut because it usually is correct. I’ve had times where I’ve looked at a situation and had the feeling to get out of it, and it’s never failed me. In the end, safety is your biggest priority. Take these preventative steps and you’ll relieve a large portion of stress involved with traveling. Until next time stay smart and stay safe! Do you have any tips for staying safe and secure on vacation? Leave them in the comments below. A guilty pleasure of mine is drag music. For those who do not know what 'drag music' is, it's a genre of music made almost exclusively by drag queens or kings. It's generally dance music and very on brand to the persona that writes and sings the song, so knowing the queen/king's history can help. If you're not into this, I find that drag music is stellar for road trip music. It's upbeat, it's auto tuned, it's guaranteed to make your trips go by in a flash. I feel like everyone knows Rupaul Charles for the song Supermodel, but I threw in some of my favourite queens. If you've never listened to Alaska Thunderfvck's Anus (yes, that really is the name of their album), you haven't lived. She was also recently America's next drag superstar of Rupauls Drag Race All Stars 2, so she's pretty cool. So fill your gas tank and hit the road, this soundtrack is guaranteed to Drag You to Paradise. Click below to check out the playlist. Photo Source:
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/rupauls-drag-race-can-a-woman-be-a-drag-queen-mrs-kasha-davis-bio-faux-a7041391.html |